dementia

Sources: Mayo Clinic

I'm already like the elderly woman in the illustration, and I can't imagine it's going to get any better.

Sometimes in the morning I find myself staring into the mirror, holding a razor and wondering what I was going to do, and in the next moment my gums are bleeding, or I look down and find my eyebrows in the sink.

Someone on Match.com wrote in their profile: 'I hate to sound so one demential' and I made a smart ass remark about her spelling error. But then I recalled an episode involving a wild-eyed, shriveled woman who tried to choke my grandmother at assisted living, and I thought to look up the symptoms of dementia.

I'm perfectly capable of going through a couple of gallons of milk and several dozen eggs, so it's not currently a problem. I've only tried choking myself, and it was below the waist.