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Are you tired of being left out of conspiracy theories?
Do Flat-Earthers glare at you for questioning their dedication to debunking the moon landing or scoffing at their insistence that Alex Jones is actually Bill Hicks?
Now, for the first time, this revolutionary song will guide you to a place of understanding.
You'll buy gold with only loose change, sew rations into your winter coat and wear cargo pants to church without a care in the world.
Hear this fable unfold before you and join the legions of the bitter in starting a brighter future, beginning with cutting your own hair and making peace with all the things they've been saying about you on tv.
Start listening today, don't wait, or you'll miss out on the sacred knowledge that comes back to you when Siri and Alexa share what you've been saying to yourself on the way to work.
