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I was invited over by a friend and his wife with no notion or expectations about this movie, bearing in mind we are approaching Halloween, and this was apparently her favorite childhood film. So, this is geared towards whom? The 8-year-olds of today? Or the 38-year-olds of today who saw the '93 original thirty years ago? Both.
I understand that it's a kid's fantasy movie, and the trend is to make everyone feel included. It's just funny to watch the 1993 film back to back with 2023 sequel. Contrast Hocus Pocus 2's opening hip-hop beat with the original film's typical, evocatively magical string section, and the blatant diversity and inclusion shellacking is stark enough that I couldn't help but giggle and call it out, despite everyone in the room being liberal and having just moved to Atlanta from Minneapolis.
I had no idea Blacks and Latin X (AP Style; happy?) are less prone to wish upon a star without warming things up with a good trap beat or a little reggaetón. If they ever hear a Spielberg-style soundtrack and the usual enchanted British accent, they just might feel oppressed by the Imperialists.
Although, the Blue Fairy in the new Pinnochio is Black AND has a British accent. Because we know England is where wizards come from, and King Arthur was obviously Black, right? Not just the Black knight. They all were, even Merlin. Come on, "Monty Python" is an innuendo. And the Holy Grail was filled with Colt 45, hence the Quest. Can you imagine that dialogue rewritten in ebonics? Move over Hamilton, watch Ye remake Life of Brian with a vengeance.
Then, we begin the story in a classroom with a Black and Latin X girl casting a spell over a white male classmate. Ah, the new witches are 'diverse'. Check. Despite the rivalry and tension between the cultures, these two are getting along swimmingly. You'll not prevent us from sacrificing children to our hearts' content so we can remain forever young, you blue-eyed, man-child bastard! At 76, Bette Midler is still moving and singing quite well. She must be a gobbl'n' down some chill'n. Maybe the witches should open their own abortion clinic and keep it on the down-low.
Speaking of people who are no stranger to drag shows and bath houses, I did notice Hocus Pocus 2 features 'Planet Claire' by the B-52s, a cool surf-punk song from the early 80s. We then barely notice the school's office assistant is a tranny. Absolutely nothing to do with the story, and we never see or hear from she/her/hers again. Kind of like when Howard Stern would have lesbians on his show and announce "Look! It's two lesbians and they're kissing!" It's just representation for the sake of it. Who gives a shit about the tranny's story or whether SHE has any powers other than transforming from a man into a man who dresses like woman. It's product placement, just like the scene where they featured 'Walgreen's' logo for what felt like an eternity.
I only saw the first 15 minutes of the Hocus 2, but apparently there's another scene where a witch flies by people's windows on a broomstick and sees a bi-racial same-sex couple watching TV. Okay, okay. Don't they need an apartment complex full of every marginalized group to truly represent everyone, or just racial and sexual minorities? Little people and Stephen Hawking like to have popcorn and fuck on the couch, too, you know? Or maybe someone jerking off and talking back to the TV to help with the stigma of mental health.
I suspect if the Klan ever rose up in Salem, Mass. it wouldn't take long to complete their mission because everyone in town knows the Black tour guide at the Salem gift shop should be back from lunch around one o'clock. Their banner would read, "Get Cedric".
As for any Hispanics, they could only be found touring in Salem after being sent packing by the Hypocrite Honkies of Martha's Vinyard.
To confirm, the latest demographics show Blacks make up less than 7% of Salem, and Hispanics aren't even mentioned. Talk about 'othering'.
https://worldpopulationreview.com/us-cities/salem-ma-population
- White: 79.21%
- Black or African American: 6.72%
- Other race: 5.73%
- Two or more races: 5.40%
- Asian: 2.61%
- Native American: 0.33%
- Native Hawaiian or Pacific Islander: 0.00%
