Waiting for Go’Dosh

 

Waiting for Go’Dosh

Libs are just grown-ups who never stopped rebelling against their parents. 

Impotently broadcasting their hipster tattoos and atheism on social media.

All dressed up and nowhere to go but Twitter and Instagram. 

Rebels without a cause. 

Until the media and some corporate sponsor comes along and paves another road for them to burn and loot.

The problem is how they gobble up invented causes they can imagine feeling strongly about and act out their make-believe. 

Their make-beliefs. 

Don’t burst their bubble, it would be a sacrilege. 

Heretic! Infidel!

They’re atheists, but they make up for it by being dogmatically politically correct and devoid of context.

Literal, humorless and intolerant. You know, fundamentalists.

I’ll bet they pray to Gosh.

Thank Gosh!

One of Gosh’s ten commandments was:

“Thou shalt stay up late having cookies and milk whilst binge watching Netflix.”

Gosh is so jealous of God.

“One nation under Gosh! I’m the populist deity, Gosh darn it!”

Gotta protect the brand. 

And evangelize the brand. By clothing the children.

Osh Kosh. By Gosh.

We are all Gosh’s children. But, it takes a village.

And evangelize the brand by feeding the children.

Gosh is great, Gosh is good, let us thank’um for our food. Amen.

At this rate, we’re all praying to Gosh to be first in line before the food runs out.

Somebody had better multiply those loaves and fishes.

We’re all standing here, waiting for Go’Dosh.

Backstory:

What does a guilty agnostic say? (Yes, I'm said guilty agnostic).

“Thank Gosh.”

I would’ve said “Thank God”, but the rules tell me not to use the name in vain, then I caught myself and realized I’m grateful, so it’s okay. 

But I was just uttering an idiom in vain. 

Oh, right, I am grateful. It's okay. “Thank God”. 

Wait, do I mean the idiom or the deity? 

Am I stepping toward the light, like a good boy should? Or am I just fooling myself, like Dumbo holding his feather? 

Oh, fuck it, I’m grateful. 

What was I grateful about? I had this thought sitting on the commode, I don't remember.

And then, I just passed it on and lampooned the liberals. Amen.