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For my 50th birthday, I went to see Patton Oswalt last night at The Tabernacle - same place I saw him and Tom Segura previously. Next week, I'll see Jim Norton at the Punchline. When I bought my ticket to Norton every seat was available and I easily got front-middle of the stage, which is sad.
At one time, Patton was one of my favorite comedians. My first Patton Oswalt show was at the 40 Watt in Athens and it was great. Patton loves to rub elbows with hipsters while simultaneously throwing them under the bus. He's really been torn over this and now that he's finally nesting amongst the Hollywood elite, he's dead in the water.
I was wondering what Patton would do, because after the birth of his daughter and losing his wife, the albums started getting very chatty and filling up space with non-jokes, pandering to hipster liberals on politics to get them cheering without making jokes, and acting like he could just kind of hang out with the audience and coast of his notoriety. He even developed a bit about how well he's being paid to show up and do nothing, and talked about how he used to criticize sell-outs, citing Nickelback as an example, but that now he gets it. Hey, Patton, if life put you through the wringer and you're ready to hang it up, that sucks and thanks for the laughs. Or maybe you're just taking a hiatus. Fine, take it and come back when you're ready.
With Trump out of office and the current lame administration I couldn't imagine he'd have much to say politically or if he did, he'd at least dish it out evenly, or just talk about something else. Anything else - shaving balls, magical midgets, gay retards, whatever. You know, something kinda Patton.
At this point, there's next to nothing to his act, he simply has no material. I paid to see a performance, but what I got was just Patton shrugging because he has nothing and acting cute about taking up that time in front of an audience, and lots of cringy political pandering. He shouldn't be on the road.
Covid has hurt comedians because they can't develop material without an audience, and in his case, he is starting his tour apparently aiming to have a Netflix special in another year. This is his sixth show of the tour, he apparently canceled FL shows because of covid - obviously a political maneuver and here in Atlanta he required proof of vaccination or recent covid test and encouraged masks but didn't require them inside (clearly it was his idea, or his management).
The two openers of course had material, so apparently the pandemic didn't hurt them. The first was a Latin guy named Orlando, who had a short set that might have been okay but it didn't grab my attention and I went to the bathroom. When I returned I think I heard some funny bits. But, the feature was a girl, don't recall her name either, and she was actually very clever and interesting, just needs to energize her delivery to be more charismatic. Too bad it isn't a quick search to find their names easily, including on his website. If it's online, it's not easy to find.
Patton opened with an anti-religion joke which of course his fat, ugly, all-white liberal audience absolutely loved. I'll admit, I laughed at the end of this bit, but oh, how I hate sitting amongst his fans.
Then he made a one-liner about a barn (wait for the Netflix special, I'm sure this will be the pinnacle of his set) and in an attempt at absurdity-ala-Python he spent the next ten minutes milking the funny right out of it. That was just about the only actual bit in his set. The other would-be bit was merely an anecdote.
He filled the void of the show with audience interaction on the front row, asking what they did for a living and his banter was okay-ish but it went on for a long time and wasn't funny. One person was a travel nurse, and of course everyone yayed their asses off for her, and thankfully he yanked the rug out and noted that there was no humor because everyone had good jobs and good lives. No shit, that's your audience, Patton, especially considering what they paid for those seats. You should've tried those of us who hiked up to the fourth floor balcony, peering through the darkness between the railing and into the blinding spotlight. So, his crowd work was not worthwhile - he knows how to be humorous in the moment but it isn't memorable and at times it was just a lot of talking and trying to make fun of one guy which just came across as insulting. Throw in a Star Wars reference and his minions get the tummy rub they came for.
He did a lot of thanking the audience for wearing masks and getting vaccinated and lampooning and shaming those who didn't get vaccinated, comparing the current vaccine to the vaccine for polio, like it's such a clear cut, no-brainer. Patton, this whole situation around covid and politics is so absurd and replete with opportunity for a thinking comedic mind to analyze and speculate, without ever taking a side. So much conspiracy and sci-fi could have been pulled out of this, the old Patton would have been jumping and looping and ricocheting off the walls like Evel Knievel. But instead he went wholesale in one direction? Cha-ching. Patton, the covid dog ate your homework, or even worse, the Netflix dog, which I'm sure pays very well to spread the Woke. Got it. Oh, but now you have a daughter and you've got to be responsible, so you can't smoke weed or do LSD, got it. Hey, try NOT doing drugs AND writing some comedy.
He spent a lot of time virtue signaling instead of making jokes. If you like social causes and group hugs and saying 'Yes We Can', you're going to love seeing Patton's current tour. It's very feel good for the kids and you might get some Vick's Vapo-rub and a hot wash cloth on your chest and a spoonful of sugar, and probably a rectal thermometer. His audience really ate it up. Let's be honest, some of his audience loved it - the annoying, loud, fat ones. But there was not a giant roar of laughter all around. He could've walked out on the stage and said nothing and everyone would cheer, because they love him. I think the Beatles did something like this at one point when they realized they could record chimps on typewriters and people would buy it.
Oh, I almost forgot, and he did fill up some space with fart jokes.
He told one story about his wife towards the end that was more just relaying a misunderstanding that took place, but there was no joke or point to it other than kissing her ass and telegraphing girl power to his fans. He finished by repeating the 'Physics for Poet's story from an old album which he fucked up by mixing up the red eye of whatever planet (Jupiter?) with the crimson eye of Cerberus.
Not surprisingly towards the end he took a moment to kick the corpse of Trump which I'm astonished he didn't extend even further, and no doubt, the audience would have lapped it up.
I guess he's lost his motivation and he's under pressure to develop a Netflix special, which probably sucks for him. Maybe hanging out with Hollywood and getting acceptance from the mainstream was all he ever needed to escape his hometown. Maybe he's being paid to say this nonsense, or maybe he's really just become such a sniveling cunt. He was raving about Bernie last time I saw him at Tabernacle. I never had fiercely individualistic Patton Oswalt pegged for a true leftist, more a libertarian. At one time, he criticized Obama for drone strikes and that helped a little. I hated W just as much as he did, but when it came time to call bullshit on the obvious from the left and our homogenous media, he didn't have the balls and couldn't resist the low hanging fruit of acceptance (or he just sold out). In some parallel universe, Patton, you're just another frat boy working at your dad's company. Just like W. You're on the edge of nothing, you're adrift in the middle of a tepid ocean with no breeze. Very embryonic.
Honestly, even if I disagree with your politics, if you write something funny, I'll enjoy it. I'm a guilty agnostic, seeking to understand and highly skeptical of everything. How can a thinking person not be? Use your imagination and speak to ours. We don't need answers or conclusions or judgements, we need possibilities. Go abstract. That's why you need to walk away from this cult you've decided to be a part of and now rally. You're a comedian, not a politician. It is NOT your duty to 'use your platform' to do anything other than make us laugh. De Niro and these other ego maniacs need to focus on their craft or retire. Try mining 'what if' for a most reasonable and obvious starting point.
Patton, you've said Brian Regan is your favorite comedian, right? Think more about that. Why don't you go talk to Brian. I saw Brian Regan at Chastain Park one night and really wondered how stand up comedy would fair in an open amphitheater. He KILLED, and EVERYONE was doubled over laughing their asses off. Gorgeous venue, well lit, and the ceiling of sky just gave us fresh air and atmosphere. The energy of the crowd was fully charged.
I understand it takes time and an audience to develop, but at least have some seeds ready to plant other than the one you have 'left over from pre-covid'. If you needed a break or to spend time with your new wife and family, good for you, happy for you.
I can't believe I paid for mere presence - it wasn't even a show - and made the effort to go downtown, circle around trying to find the parking garage, then stood in a long line smelling weed just to watch him walk around the stage openly telling us he's got nothing.
Why am I being such a dick writing about Patton? Because it's a waste of my time and his talent and it's disappointing. I'm rooting for you, Patton, but get your head out of your ass. It's as sad as when R&B went Bieber.
He mentioned having completed a 'Just for Laughs' set that will debut in 2022.
I expect Jim Norton will deliver a great show regardless of covid because Jim Norton is honest and doesn't pander.
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Update: Consistent with this post, Patton distances himself from friend, Dave Chappelle, object of my other rant about comedians getting political. Probably because of his upcoming Netflix special. Oh, no, don't fuck that up, Patton!
