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This morning, a notice appeared on Bumble about stopping 'fetishization'. Here's a reference on Mashable.
'People can be fetishized based on their race, gender, sexuality, - body type'.
'Bumble makes reporting hate speech, catfish, and even more, easier', and 'Bumble bans body shaming'.
Low-fat, ozone-safe, dolphin-friendly, organic...gummy worms! Cuz everybody loves gummy worms, come on in and have some, don't feel guilty or embarrassed about it. Wanna fuck but afraid to show your face on Tinder? Here at Bumble, we'll make everything alright, and if anyone questions your honor, we'll kick em' right in the balls. 'I'm willing to lie about how we met' is a common statement. Very empowering, ladies. But on Bumble, they can hold their heads high and even brag. And they do.
And Bumble offers educational lessons because '45% of Americans don't know what fetishization means'. They note, however, that 'fetishes practiced consensually can be fun and healthy'. So, I guess that means we can agree to jam something up each other's ass, but if you want to choose someone based on physical appearance you should at least pretend you didn't notice until you win that person's trust, and then you can reveal that you were a wolf in sheep's clothing. Crouching apologist, hidden pervert.
I've often thought to make a t-shirt that says 'Sorry, I'm not Italian' or even 'Sorry, I'm not Italian, Greek, Jewish or Middle Eastern'. I guess I should consider making a 'My mind is up here' t-shirt to keep these ravenous wenches focused on my inner beauty. I've been getting that my entire life. Boo-hoo. They just want me for what's under my kilt, not what's under my yarmulke.
While I recognize the idea of being sensitive to people and not making someone feel objectified, we like what we like, and Bumble is denying or defying the laws of natural attraction and turning it into a criminalization, particularly in favor of women, who in my experience are on an even playing field and exhibit the same biases and behaviors based on physicality and in some instances, including race or ethnicity. Dating and sexual preferences are largely instinctive, and once it becomes a rule set beyond common courtesy, it gets tedious. Quibbling over a 'fetish' involving race, gender or body type approaches a very wobbly tightrope.
Once, my Bumble account was flagged and throttled when I asked a woman if she would mind posting a full-length photo to her profile. She told me I made her feel like a commodity, so I politely explained and she reported me. It's a common problem with online dating. Women say men are older, fatter, shorter and balder than their photos, that they should smile to ensure they have teeth. It's not just catfishing, it's representation. How would a person look if we saw them at the grocery store?
Race and body type, and certainly gender, are legitimate parts of the match making equation. Imagine a dating app that didn't include gender in the search criteria. Most transgender profiles identify themselves up front, but rather than having their own category, they mix in with whichever group(s) they are seeking and the burden of discernment is on the user. I see plenty of female profiles with sexually explicit photos, language and declarations that no man would ever be permitted to post, including couples seeking a third male. Easy enough, just swipe left, you say? Well, that's what filters are for.
Before I go too much further, let me recognize where this 'fetishization' thing is coming from.
Upon a quick search, I found that they're tying it in with Asian hate crime, which is an entirely other can of worms to unpack. Since the shooting at the Asian spa in Atlanta, I've maintained that the incident was less about Asian hate and more about a guy who clearly had a conflict with his religious convictions and his sexual preoccupation. He didn't just go on a rampage against Asians because they were Asian (and several of his victims were not Asian), and the implication of this Asian-hate crime rhetoric has been stemming from guilt by association with COVID-19, based on the notion that anyone accusing China of being culpable for deliberately sourcing a virus as a bioweapon is a xenophobe. Interesting that most of these Asian hate crimes have been committed by blacks, and those most impacted by COVID-19 are black. But I digress.
The article attempts to break down the finger pointing into yet another fault of misogynist, xenophobe, racists. I saw a post on LinkedIn from a professional Asian woman lamenting that as an Asian woman, she knows her life might be shortened, living in Atlanta. And boy, did she ever get a lot of likes and supportive remarks for that one. Strange, though, I haven't seen any such posts on LinkedIn by any of the geishas from Happy Spa, where's their march?
Is it that American men are fetishizing Asian women, or is it that businesses owned and operated by Asians happen to specialize in Asian women who offer professional hand jobs? And those businesses are all over the place and have been for years, along with strip clubs, fetish and swinger clubs. Only now, the fetishization of Asians has come to attention? Why now?
If we're going to start begging the question of how Asian women are treated, why don't we begin by looking to Asia? Did we invent it here or did they bring it? Who constitutes a significant consumer base of human trafficking? Asian IT professionals. Why? Because it's acceptable in their own countries, and when they come to the U.S. without wives or girlfriends, with limited language and cultural awareness, and the social skills of a typical introverted software developer, well, it's a lot like what happens around a military base. You end up with brothels. Seattle has their share of problems with this, and guess where it's hot in Atlanta? Johns' Creek, home and hot bed of IT professionals. In fact, the Atlanta airport is a major hub of human trafficking.
It's really an extension of the double-edged sword of #metoo - it's not one-sided. Along with the consumer market driven out of Asia including K-pop, anime and manga.
I'd love to see BLM take on China and India for their treatment of women and caste system. Somehow I doubt China would be as tolerant of BLM as a country like Israel. Speaking of Asian countries, let's watch and see how Japan handles The Olympics, including the co-mingling of the matters of COVID-19 and race, including the call to de-politicize the Olympics of any BLM propaganda.
And which genre of music and fashion capitalizes most on fetishization of women? Bitches, money, weed. Why is Buckhead in Atlanta becoming it's own city? Because the police - who all of these outraged and demanding liberals are pushing to defund - are not responding to 911 calls - and hip hop is running the show, with a 75% increase in car theft and a 95% increase in shootings. And that's not just in Atlanta.
Let's institutionalize the defunding of the police while granting immunity to criminals. Great strategy until some rich liberal gets his car stolen, is beaten or robbed.
This hypocritical leftist crusade is becoming a lot like the Bible-thumping right in their moralistic judgement, only they've designated western culture and white people as the source of all evil. They like to include the wealthy but too many of these crusaders are themselves wealthy, with big tech driving most of this.
Rather than competing through differentiation by meeting a specific need, the idea is to create a false narrative that suggests any other way is morally wrong. It's like the Chic-fil-A cows doing their 'eat more chiken' campaign, minus the humor. The sun is oppressing the moon, ban the sun.
If they want to end objectification of women and violence, they can carry out the mantle of censorship of ALL sex and violence and we can return to a Puritanical life. No more porn, violent movies or television, no more comedians or musicians, no more free speech. No more long hair, dancing, cards or booze. Introducing the Pentecostal Left, Hallelujah! Praise Allah!
Nah, that's not really what they want. They just want to convince women, LGBTQ and minorities to believe they have something to offer them. Any group they can convince to feel like a victim, they can win and gain power. That's the promise that leads to corrupt power.
Back to Bumble, which was created for and marketed towards women as an alternative to Tinder, which is notorious as a hook up app.
Let's have a look at Bumble's filters, which do NOT offer any settings for race or body type. Keep this in mind as I apply the same judgment towards the 'advanced' filters.
The basic filters are for age and distance, so everyone can enjoy both age discrimination and fetishization, either by robbing the cradle or robbing the grave, or by driving a nail in the coffin, even though according to most women over 45, age is just a number. That's corroborated by every young guy with a cougar fantasy when he approaches these same women. Distance discrimination hurts the feelings of those who are convinced that their prince will cross an ocean for love. And it's true, they are free to wire money to Ghana.
The first setting offers verification to prove the user is real. That's useful for everyone to prevent 'catfishing'. Safety first, thanks Bumble! Now that we feel safe, we trust you to guide us into the scary world of online dating by coaching women on how to think and act.
And on that note, the very first advanced filter is height. Ladies. After all, let's not forget who this app is most aimed at. By women, for women. Okay, all you short bastards out there, get the fuck out of the way. But the downside is that all you giant, lumbering volleyball smashing bitches can go hug a tree. Am I mistaken? Maybe some women love cuddling with hobbits, and maybe some guys like to be tossed around like a sack of potatoes.
Next filter, whether they exercise. You mean, hey you fat ass tree sloth, get back on the couch and out of my bee line? No, that's a health thing, silly. It's not fat shaming. Some people just can't close their mouths.
Next filter is education, for those insatiable 'sapiosexuals'. Because education is certainly affordable to all, and ensures proper indoctrination into civilized society. If only Bernie were President. Sigh.
Other such filters include whether they drink, smoke, their intention (a lot of women out there specifying they want a 'casual relationship', wink wink), whether they have children, star sign, politics, and religion. So you can avoid alcoholics and smelly smokers, rug rats (especially those that were unintended) and those 'breeders' who created them, Trump supporters and other zealots. No judgement here.
God, I love a Capricorn. The way they shoot out of their mom's vagina like a sea goat running loose through a screen door on a hot summer day. But I would NEVER go out with a Pisces, you know, because they smell like fish.
So, I guess the filters indicate that Bumble's sense of ethics is bound by a code of attributes based on choice, not physicality - apart from age and height, AAAAAND star sign - because we all know that WOMEN eat that shit up, along with other systems of exacting taxonomy such as Love Languages. Follow the recipe, you lil' Betty Crockers.
Match is the pioneer of dating apps, founded in 1995, and offers the most advanced filtering including body type. In a very long and rambling earlier post, I examined how various dating apps are handling current pressure from Black Lives Matter and whether or how they answered for including filters for race and ethnicity. Of course, the answer from Match is that they justify offering such filters to serve minorities, rather than the honest answer from the original design which is that ALL people like what they like and should not be ashamed of or have to apologize for their preferences. In a city like Atlanta, GA, 'minority' is a relative term because Atlanta is at least 50% black. Ahem...African American. Besides, if the logic is that minorities prefer to find their own, that justifies the need for race filters - for everyone. We like what we like. Mind your own business.
It's funny to read dating profiles on some of the older sites that began as desktop-only, particularly on POF (Plenty of Fish), which is owned by Match. I like to call POF 'the ghetto of online dating' or better yet the 'Mos Eisley of online dating' because, as Obiwan said, "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." On POF, it's either super ghetto or meth heads out in the sticks, in some town you've never heard of.
Note also, every classic 'desktop' dating app - Match, OK Cupid, Zoosk, eHarmony, POF, etc. offers race and body type filters. Many of these are owned by Match, by the way.
"Not as clumsy or as random as a blaster. An elegant weapon for a more civilized age" - Obiwan Kenobi.
Regardless of one's political orientation, online dating on POF in Atlanta is one domain where the fairy book has little bearing on reality. Women of every background are not just unapologetic, but outright hostile. Specifically, they write "I don't date outside of my race", and that goes in every direction. Women's profiles are festooned with the verbal equivalent of razor wire. Black women will declare 'I'm a grown-ass woman'...'Come at my correct or not at all'...'Keep it 100', and 'Do not inbox me if'...followed by a list of criteria and common gripes that reflect the usual suspects...'if you have a grill'...'if you wear your pants below your ass'...'if you do not have proper hygiene'...'if you have jacked up teeth' (see also 'if you have a grill')...'if you do not have a car'...'if your idea of a date is going to Red Lobster'...these poor bastards have no chance. A more civilized age, indeed.
No wonder when I asked my white, southern, 72-year-old mother "Mom, howzit going on Match?" she said, "Well, I'm getting hit on by a lot of black guys." Never thought I'd see the day she'd paint that picture in my mind. That's Atlanta.
Perhaps Bumble truly believes in their cause, but there could very well be a strong argument that they are differentiating themselves from their competitors by driving a morale narrative and spreading their ideology as though it were 'the gospel' with blessings from the highest authority and source of doctrine - Academia. Come to Bumble, where online dating is safe and fair and kind and authentic - for some reason every women on Bumble lists 'kindness and authenticity' as their top values in a man. They just happen to all use the exact same words? And they all happen to talk about Netflix? And, Bumble, where 33-year old Meghan will invite a crusty old 49-year old to cross swords with her 32-year old boyfriend, Skyler to make her air-tight. Hey, as long as it's consensual, right? Wait, isn't this why Bumble was created, to get away from all of this sex talk? Oh, so long as it's coming from the woman? Gotcha ;)
So, as with any cult, just strip away your identity and be free - free from race, gender, nationality - in fact, shed anything by which you may be identified - starting with your face. Put on a mask and take a number. We're all in this togeeeeeether. Besides, we can always track your data, your geolocation, and your online footprint.
I shared my discovery of Bumble's fetishization notice with a friend, who sarcastically suggested maybe they should just eliminate profile photos altogether. Yes, let's go back to classified ads. Maybe Bumble should partner with the Washington post and let newspapers be what they were in the good old days of print, before they were destroyed by the digital age and became pure propaganda for tech giants who want more H1B visas and cheap labor under the morale imperative of human rights.
Maybe Jeff Bezos will let Bumble just skip on over to Amazon and post people like products, because after all, we are commodities as my would-be assailant/victim complained. We can all get star ratings and reviews, strap on our Methusian belts, screw to our hearts content, decant our children and live out Brave New World. I'd like to be tossed into a shopping cart, boxed, shipped to a warehouse and distributed to some housewife and used regularly like an appliance until my batteries run out.
Funny, years ago FWD.US listed the founders under 'About Us' and it's leadership which includes Mark Zuckerburg and higher ups from all the major tech companies, but now they just show their young, 'diverse' staff members and open positions. Pushing that COVID and race agenda, hand in hand.
When I started using Bumble, I noticed that women were really proud to post profiles because this was the antidote to Tinder. The founder of Bumble was also the co-founder of Tinder, and the hype had women so embracing the marketing, they were beyond proud to display themselves, including their professional position and where they work. Since Bumble is so keen on training women how to think and act, including how to 'break the ice' with some inane trivia question about whether peanut butter is good with jelly, why not try some Camille Paglia-style feminism and give them some common sense advice about what not to overshare for the sake of privacy and safety? Women would commonly pose profiles in the format of 'Me: Witty, attractive, funny, successful'. You: Wealthy, generous, ample package, does whatever I say.' or something to that effect. After some time passed, I saw the bravado die down and a lot more reality seep in. It's beginning to look a lot like Tinder. Oh, and they finally stopped with the white text on a yellow background. I remember when Bumble wouldn't allow me to comment with 'my idea of equality is: "White text on a yellow background", pointing out Bumble's obvious accessibility flaw, even though the women found my remark amusing.
Bumble is the Bizarro Tinder of dating apps. It will always have those women who hang on to the original vision and draw from the idealist third wave feminists who want to have their cock and eat it too. But at the end of the day, it's just another public, free dating app. Tinder, on the other hand, is the fanny pack of dating apps whereby the utility outweighs the social stigma. On Tinder, you'll find a lot of the same women you find on Bumble and other dating sites, but without the rah rah 'I am Woman...' fanfare. I remember when I was on the old desktop dinosaur apps, and eHarmony was the one with the reputation for meeting the love of your life, for those people who are ready to get married. It started with an exhausting psychological battery that ensured rigorous match making, and with a premium entry fee, but the experience offered only a slow, tepid drip from a very limited pool of mediocre women. You've matched with Susan! She, too, has naval lint and cuticles. Like eHarmony, Bumble is a lot of branding and marketing hype.
If you remember anything from reading my little tirade, nota bene: Anything that champions some moral good is usually either to make money, or to prevent liability. It ain't out of kindness or authenticity. So whether you ran to the right and saber-rattled when we went into Afghanistan after 911, or whether you jumped on board with BLM when they burned cities and black businesses to the ground, the media is turning you on and off by remote control. Spare what's left of your rotting mind, turn off the TV and go outside and play.
In my experience living in a major city, the mobile-only free dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, Hinge) offer a big and ever-changing pool of people, and better looking due to the sheer number, compared to the membership-only desktop apps. While paying for the mobile apps affords better results, it's not absolutely necessary. So, competition and differentiation amongst the big three is critical.
Yes, at least in Atlanta, I do in fact find the caliber of people on Bumble historically seems to skew more professional than Tinder, at least in presentation, and for that I've been grateful to have it and I've actually recommended it, especially to the newly single female. I don't see porn ads, and not nearly as many prostitutes, surprisingly fewer trannies than on other apps. But the overt political narrative and the incident of throttling my account, though infrequent, is unforgettable. And again, it's just been a matter of time before the jacuzzi of savvy mobile users have been diluted by the less sophisticated who join Bumble only to pee in the pool.
Not long ago, Bumble flashed up a call to action requiring acknowledgement of Black Lives Matters, and it would not allow use of the app without clicking in agreement. It was creepy. In fact, they also later required that I agree not to litigate in a class action law suite. A lot of nerve to add these kinds of requirements for a paid membership. So, at least this time the fetishization posting was optional.
What's next, Bumble? Since you are a leading designer of this social engineering runway, adorning us all in your UI and showcasing the latest fashion ala Emperor's New Clothes? Every day, it's more clear to which horse you've hitched your cart, so don't over play your hand. If one day Bumble decides to boot me and others like me off, I'm sure there will be a mass migration to another platform and Bumble will claim Queen of the hill, or perhaps be reduced to a mole hill.
Lastly, I'd like to note that I currently use Bumble, Tinder and Hinge. In Atlanta, all of these apps have a recent proliferation of profiles of Asian women who look like anime characters, completely sexualized, and list themselves as entertainers or entrepreneurs, living in the hotel district. Bumble isn't filtering or blocking these profiles, and I've seen many other women who are clearly prostitutes on Bumble.
I remember when Bumble pushed very hard up front about their photo requirements and what is not appropriate in terms of posing and context. Needless to say, those requirements have been kicked to the side rather swiftly. I wonder if the same is true for male profiles. At any rate, whatever you do, fellas, don't fetishize these prostitutes that Bumble keeps sharing. Don't lump all women into the whore category just because of a few bad apples. That would be wrong. And most of all, don't go to Korea or Japan, ever. Or Thailand. Or China where they have sex amusement parks. In fact, just get some Jergens, a box of kleenex and use your imagination and hang out at the public library with the other perverts.
