Thursday, February 18, 2021

Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson for President

 

https://www.bet.com/celebrities/news/2021/02/16/dwayne-the-rock-johnson-running-for-president.html

Dwayne has been at this for a while. After seeing his "Where are you?" speech on youtube, I was certain he'd go on to greatness as President of the United States, employing his dramatic gifts to convince everyone that whatever is happening to them, as decided by whoever is behind the curtain, is for the greater good. President Dwayne. 

Or, he could make wacky life insurance commercials.

One way or another, we'll probably see Idiocracy come to fruition in our lifetime without undergoing cryogenic sleep.

My measure of a good president is how well they wield the Voice of God.

When W was in office, I would listen to his oratory style and imagine him standing in line at McDonalds ordering 'an hamburger' with that epic dramatic cadence. With pickles. Ketchup n mustard. No onions. 

At that time, everyone on the news insisted on saying 'an historic...', so W took the brunt of my scorn.

Fast forward to Dwayne, with his 'Where are you?' delivery - I can't wait to hear him order 'a hamburger'. See? NOT a dumbass, like stupid George W. Thank Almighty God for Barack's talent for reading a teleprompter and restoring the dignity of the Highest Office in the Land.

Although by then Dwayne will be preaching for that burger to a chatbot which will then translate the order in Spanish. I'm pretty sure the crew will still get the chills. 

Dwayne's "Smackdown your vote" was a great way to ensure that those with the least political awareness do what they're told because bullies are bad, and puppies are cute. Vote for Dwayne. 

That's why Pelosi wants to lower the voting age to 16. At 16, I was adamant about seeing boobies, and all of my friends were totally on board. Teen suffrage might have diverted the Gulf War. War in the Middle East? Nah, boobies. Boobies, not war. And I still feel the same way. Visionary.

There was a time that those who became President of the United States studied law. But nowadays, they need to devise a signature move. Dwayne's is the "Rock Bottom", which sounds about right, but his "People's Elbow" will win the day.

If we can have Dwayne for President, Japan should build Mechagodzilla. Especially if Dwayne takes on Oprah as his running mate.

Other candidates who may join in as Democrats in '24 - I'll be updating this list here:

Will Smith

I fully expect Oprah and possibly Tom Hanks, of course Michelle Obama is likely.


More horse shit from Dwayne

https://thehill.com/opinion/white-house/540290-dwayne-the-rock-johnson-v-donald-trump-a-serious-comparison?rl=1

The spin of this article really spells out the strategy and sales pitch. In this interview, they ask why he sounds so genuine, which is in stark contrast to the entire point I'm making about Dwayne's shitty acting job on 'Where are you?". 

Me: Dwayne, why do you sound so phony...I mean...genuine?

Dwayne: Ummm, because here's some horse shit answer that dovetails off of the Orange Man Bad platform, with a cunning 'be nice' strategy that promises to unify everyone and underscores why the left has chosen a wrestler to mimic the appeal of Trump as an 'outsider' and 'centrist'. Look! I have daughters! Awwwwwwww.

In other words, whoever pays the most for his bad acting. 

From the article:

In explaining why he voted for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, while still extending an olive branch to those who supported Trump, Johnson demonstrated why his voice comes across as genuine, why he could speak to millions of his fellow citizens. 

“My vote represented my little girls,” he said. “It also represented humanity, decency, principles and values @laurenhashianofficial [his wife] and I instill in our little daughters. And finally, my vote represented the importance of just being a decent human being. And to me, a decent human being matters. This win feels so good, but now the real work begins because we have an entire country divided. I’m not turning my back on you just because we have a difference of opinion. I’m not made that way. I’m still right here, and when the sun comes up, we all get up with it, go to work, feed our families and pay our bills.” 

Last September, in announcing he would vote for the Democratic ticket, Johnson emphasized, “As a political independent & centrist, I’ve voted for both parties in the past.”