ProgPower USA Festival coming to Atlanta

http://www.progpowerusa.com/xii/index1.html

What has become of prog and metal these days? Thanks a lot, Dream Theater. And what on Earth has gotten into Sweden?

Looking at this gallery of bands, it's like a marketing firm snatched up some leftover cling-on bands and decided to make casserole. Each band has so many members, it's truly family-sized value.

The art director said 'here's what you're going to have to do' and every third band member was told to grow a chin trail and slathered with mascara. The skeptic in me says surely this is all too contrived, but the problem is that the hair on their scalps doesn't grow fast enough for these photos without true commitment.

Some of the band names are essentially tribute band names - album or song titles borrowed from classic metal bands - Sanctuary, Mob Rules. Otherwise, the names are either overtly magical, melodramatic, or must refer to the lesser known guardians of Asgard.

To review, click the band name link for an image and then hit your back button, beeotch - this crappy blog is too narrow to show the full pic:

Dream Evil (Sweden) - Slip Knot and Kiss meets the Care Bears to show their best love making faces. Here's one more pic. I thought maybe they were kidding so I looked at youtube and found a song that states 'we slay the dragon' and shows some more great pics, and then I found their official video, Fire, Battle Metal.

Band Members include:

Nick Night (Vocals)
Dannee Demon (Guitars)
Ritchie Rainbow (Guitars)
Pete Pain (Bass)
Pat Power (Drums)

Therion (Sweden)- Where to begin? OK, start with the three guys in back with the blonde hair and the Sharpie facial beavers and work your way out to the frame.

Labyrinth (Italy) - For me, it's the band name combined with the really serious guy in the foreground. At least they're already in a sewer pipe.

Creation's End (USA) - A street theme! Aren't these guys a little old to be running around in hoodies?

Voyager (Australia) should have been called Goldilocks.

Darkwater (Sweden) - I have little to say about this band. Chin trail, bald head, rocks, sepia tone, check, check, check, check.

Red Circuit (Germany) - Every dude has his own special panache that makes him a unique dipshit.

Sanctuary (USA)- this is the sad one because the bio says they formed in '86 and were produced by Dave Mustaine and toured with Megadeth, but disbanded after refusing to conform to Epic's quest to capture the Seattle grunge scene. Yep, I'd say that photo looks fresh from '86.

Mob Rules (Germany) - 3 chin trails, triple check. It's the short, pudgy guy on the right end with the wig and the t-shirt with something scrawled on about Hades who's getting to me the most. They must have been running out of ideas for sets and someone remembered an exhibit.

Ihsahn (Norway) - I guess he's jumping on the green bandwagon. But, why is he alone, I wondered. His bio says he is replacing a band called 'Arcturus'.

Arcturus have issued the following statement regarding their cancellation:
"Arcturus still suffer from hibernation sickness, and due to outdated parts we deeply regret to inform you: We are canceling Progpower USA. This lack of maintenance is entirely our own fault, and sincere apologies go out to the promoter and all ticket holders, especially those of you who had planned to travel far.."

ProgPower USA Promoter, Glenn Harveston, adds:
"I have no idea what the hell that statement means. I'm not going to try and figure it out either, as I have wasted enough time and effort on that "band" already. In the meantime, I would like to personally thank Ihsahn for taking the slot. His professionalism in this situation is greatly appreciated."

Haken (UK) - Brokeback progmetal. After a long night of camping out together and quarreling over committing to a western theme, the photographer woke these guys up to find that one of them was wearing the singer's bandana.

Eldritch - I think dude on the right end was ready to get this photo shoot over with after someone unearthed Ronnie James Dio.

While Heaven Wept (USA) - hmm, for some reason they're all wearing t-shirts of other bands. I guess the marketing dept. of this festival figured they could get more mileage out of these people if they also repurposed them as billboards. The bio says two of the guys are brothers - lemme guess.

Here's an excerpt from the bio of the band While Heaven Wept that I can certainly understand:

"While Heaven Wept's lyrics have traditionally dealt with sorrowful matters, namely, personal loss and despondency".